I gave my six year old a test. Well, sort of. It was more of
a test for me. I found these parent
report cards online. You give them to your children and they grade you on a
wide range of parenting skills, from playing with the child enough to not
texting while driving. As I handed him the test, I prepared myself to be shown
as the failure I feel like I am.
You see, I spend a lot of time thinking about all of the
things I do wrong in my life, especially in parenting. I don’t play with the
kids enough. I don’t cook enough from scratch. I don’t take them to enough fun
places. I don’t pull out the crafts enough. I don’t teach them enough. It goes
on and on, this endless list of all the ways I’m failing my children.
But as I went down the list, I saw A after A. To be fair, he
did give me one B (for not teaching him the importance of being on time). Despite all my faults, all my failings, all my shortcomings, despite
everything I see myself doing wrong, my son thinks I’m doing a good job, a
great one even. It was a wonderful feeling, but I still felt like I wasn’t
doing enough. I wasn’t enough of a mom for my kids. Their friends have better
parties, better crafts, better meals. Better moms.
Because in this world of Pinterest and Facebook, the grass
on the other side is not only greener, but it sparkles with glitter. And it’s hard
sometimes, to remember that being a good parent doesn’t mean having a perfectly
manicured lawn or a Martha Stewart house. It’s not about homemade meals and
fancy crafts. It’s the quality time we spend with our kids. It’s the love we
show them. The joy we share. It's the way we listen to them tell the same story for
the hundredth time or answer their “why” for the thousandth… that day. It’s the
simple things.
Think back to your own childhood. What are your favorite
memories? For me, they don’t involve elaborate crafts or gourmet meals. My fondest
memories are just hanging out, spending time with friends or talking with my
mom about nothing or everything. It didn’t matter.
It’s not the things we buy them. It’s not the number of toys
or the cost of their wardrobe. It’s that we care and that we show them that
every single day, but not in every moment because we are human. And showing
them that we are human is beneficial in itself. We will mess up, all of us. And
that’s okay because the moments we show them that we love them will certainly
outweigh the times we get it wrong.