Suicide and Depression

Is suicide selfish? Maybe. I mean, selfish means lack of consideration for others, and if someone commits suicide without considering how it will impact their family and friends, then I suppose that makes it selfish. I think most people who commit suicide do think about the impact though. They just can't take it anymore; they see no other way. Maybe they even think it will be better for those they leave behind if they are no longer there.

You know what is definitely selfish? Telling someone that they should continue to live their life in pain and misery because it will hurt you too much for them to be gone. Yep, that's selfish. Now, I'm not saying that anyone should kill themselves. I don't think it should be glamorized or romanticized because suicide isn't pretty. It's terrible. But it's probably not selfish.

Is suicide taking the easy way out? I can see how it looks like that on the surface. I mean, life sucks so you end it. That seems pretty easy. But when you really look at it, is it so easy? It has to be incredibly difficult to actually follow through and kill yourself. I mean, you have to be at a really low point and have absolutely no hope that things could ever possibly get better. You have to say goodbye to all of the people you love and know you will miss their futures. You have to acknowledge that they will go on without you. And then you still have to actually perform the act. That doesn't sound easy.

All of these snide remarks about people who have committed suicide do nothing to help anyone. At all. You know who they hurt? Everyone. Yep, the survivors of attempted suicide, those left behind by someone who saw no other way out, those who watched as a loved one made a suicide attempt, and those who are depressed and see no other way.

Depression is a serious mental illness. It is not something you choose, and once it takes hold of you, your choices are not yours. Depression affects your brain. Know what your brain does? It allows you to think, process, problem-solve, and make good choices. Depression can put a halt to all of that. It is a dark cloud that penetrates into all of your thoughts, and you can't make it stop no matter how badly you want to.

So stop saying that people are selfish. Stop saying that they are taking the easy way out. Start listening, really listening. Be there. Choose love. Always.

Yes, I realize a lot of this post is snippy and that goes against my choose love motto. I am not taking the time to control my emotions and write in a balanced way. Wanna know why? Because it is too personal. I live every day in fear that a loved one is going to give up. I live every day wondering if I will ever see that loved one again or if we've already shared our final goodbye. I live every single day fearing that that dark cloud has grown too big and blocked the view of all the other options.

And if this person were to end it all, I would not find them selfish. I have watched the struggle to regain control and find happiness. I have seen the consideration paid to those who would be left behind. I've heard the list of ways it would hurt everyone around this person. I know that committing suicide would not be taking the easy way out.

And every single day I pray that it does not happen. Because selfishly, I would rather my loved one live in pain and misery than be gone from my life forever.