Parent Grades

I gave my six year old a test. Well, sort of. It was more of a test for me. I found these parent report cards online. You give them to your children and they grade you on a wide range of parenting skills, from playing with the child enough to not texting while driving. As I handed him the test, I prepared myself to be shown as the failure I feel like I am.

You see, I spend a lot of time thinking about all of the things I do wrong in my life, especially in parenting. I don’t play with the kids enough. I don’t cook enough from scratch. I don’t take them to enough fun places. I don’t pull out the crafts enough. I don’t teach them enough. It goes on and on, this endless list of all the ways I’m failing my children.

But as I went down the list, I saw A after A. To be fair, he did give me one B (for not teaching him the importance of being on time). Despite all my faults, all my failings, all my shortcomings, despite everything I see myself doing wrong, my son thinks I’m doing a good job, a great one even. It was a wonderful feeling, but I still felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I wasn’t enough of a mom for my kids. Their friends have better parties, better crafts, better meals. Better moms.

Because in this world of Pinterest and Facebook, the grass on the other side is not only greener, but it sparkles with glitter. And it’s hard sometimes, to remember that being a good parent doesn’t mean having a perfectly manicured lawn or a Martha Stewart house. It’s not about homemade meals and fancy crafts. It’s the quality time we spend with our kids. It’s the love we show them. The joy we share. It's the way we listen to them tell the same story for the hundredth time or answer their “why” for the thousandth… that day. It’s the simple things.

Think back to your own childhood. What are your favorite memories? For me, they don’t involve elaborate crafts or gourmet meals. My fondest memories are just hanging out, spending time with friends or talking with my mom about nothing or everything. It didn’t matter.

It’s not the things we buy them. It’s not the number of toys or the cost of their wardrobe. It’s that we care and that we show them that every single day, but not in every moment because we are human. And showing them that we are human is beneficial in itself. We will mess up, all of us. And that’s okay because the moments we show them that we love them will certainly outweigh the times we get it wrong.